Homeless or Individual? Seeing the Person in Front of You in Seattle

On the Homelessness page of our site there is a heading that has stayed with us: “Homeless or Individual?” It is a short question, and it is uncomfortable on purpose. The word “homeless” describes a situation. The word “individual” describes a person. Somewhere between the bus stop and the coffee line, many of us slide from one to the other without noticing.

We want to be careful here. We are not experts in housing, and we are not going to hand you a program. What we can offer is a way of looking, drawn from scripture and from the old question stamped on our medallion: Am I not a man and a brother? If the answer is yes, then the person on the corner of your block is a brother, a sister, someone’s son or daughter, and our habits ought to show it.

What James actually says

We keep coming back to a passage in James: “Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, ‘Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” That is James 2:15-17.

Look at how ordinary the failure is. Nobody in that verse is cruel. They say something polite. They wish the person well. And then they walk away. James calls that dead faith. It stings, because the kind words are exactly what most of us have in our pockets. The verse asks us to put a hand to the need and not only a wish.

Small ways to see a person

Our own words on the Homelessness page say that people in need “not only need food and clothing but our acknowledgement of them as an individual that deserves our attention.” Acknowledgement costs nothing, and it is within reach of everyone, including children. Here are some ordinary habits that carry that kind of respect:

• Look up. Eye contact and a small nod tell a person they have been seen, which is not something they can take for granted.
• Say hello the way you would to anyone, with a normal voice and a normal face.
• Offer your name and ask theirs. Then use it. A name turns a category back into a person.
• Ask what they need, and listen to the answer. Do not assume you already know.
• If you decide not to give, say so kindly. “I am sorry I can’t today, I hope your day gets better” is far better than pretending not to hear.

None of this requires a speech or a program. It requires about thirty seconds and a decision to treat someone as a neighbor.

Ask what they need

So ask. “Is there anything that would help you today?” is a respectful question that leaves the answer in the other person’s hands. Some will name a meal. Some will ask for nothing and be glad of the conversation. Some will say they are fine. Whatever the answer, you have treated them as the one who knows their own life, and that is a dignity we can all give.

Use the question that started all this

Our Hunger page puts the same idea into a line we find hard to read without being moved: “Would you help me if I was your son? Would you help me if I was your daughter, mother, father, brother, sister, cousin, neighbor, friend or your friend’s daughter?” It is the abolitionist question brought indoors.

The Homelessness page asks something in the same spirit: “What would we want someone to do for us if we were in their place?” It adds a sobering line, that we might be in the same situation if we did not have the support that we have. That is not meant to scare anyone. It is meant to remind us that most of us are one rough year and a thin set of relationships away from needing a hand ourselves.

Use common sense and care for your own safety

Respect and caution can sit side by side. You do not need to put yourself in danger to be kind. If a situation feels unsafe, you can still be courteous from a distance, and you can still pray for the person and do something later, such as helping with a meal or sharing a conversation in a better setting. If someone seems to be in a medical crisis or in immediate danger, contact local emergency services. Kindness and good judgment belong together.

Bring your family or group along

Children learn how to treat people by watching us. If a child sees you say hello and ask a name, they learn that a stranger in need is still a person. A small group can do the same thing together. You might agree as a group to practice eye contact and a greeting for one month, then meet and talk about what you noticed. Be honest about what was awkward. Awkwardness is the price of learning.

King Tribe was started to increase awareness of the individual person who is suffering. Our mission is plain: to treat others as we would want to be treated, and to care for one person at a time. We hold that if we care for one person at a time, we might be able to end the suffering for that individual person.

If this stirred something in you, or if your church or small group would like to talk it through, write to us at ken@kingtribe.com.